Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
