can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
my being single is dangerous.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
