Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize