areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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