heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
