I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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