I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just found puke in my bra..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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