He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
You are a genius and a whore.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
