she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
