I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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