C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
