Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
What drink are we having for lunch?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I can't put those talents on a resume
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I need a beard to bite.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
