so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
