I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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