just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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