thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
