Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
