happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Even the bartender felt bad for me
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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