She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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