why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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