those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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