I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
