booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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