If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
