Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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