she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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