It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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