You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
It's official drugs can't kill me
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
