Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
