Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
