you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
