Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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