that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Randomize
