yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
