I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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