is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Randomize
