I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
