More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
