just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.