we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
