That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
