i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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