WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
