I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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