We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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