I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize