My room smells like vodka and shame
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
