You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I lost the right to judge tonight
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
