Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
