I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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