What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
