I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
