i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
