I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
