She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
