Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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