Duck Duck Cougar?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
