Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
