I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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