It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
