I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
