The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
