he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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