well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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